“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2: 20

Crucifixion of the self is probably the most painful thing to go through, yet God works tirelessly to break our ego and self-will. Why? Because to think that anything in ourself is actually good or worthy or righteous is an out-right lie. It’s Satan’s gospel and it keeps us from knowing the real love and life and goodness of God that is found only in the cross of Jesus.

The cross is a great offense to people who think they are good. It sends the message that actually they are not good at all and have to pay a debt they are not able to pay. It’s very humbling to have to admit that. In fact, it takes death of one’s ego to admit that, especially in a culture where capability and strength are so praised. That’s why Paul says in 1 Corinthians that the cross is foolishness to the world but it is the wisdom and power of God. That is why through the gospel, the “weak” can shame the strong and the “foolish” can shame the wise. It is those who come to the realization they are nothing without God who, in God, are the real winners in the eternal perspective. They win the profound mystery of the resurrection of Christ living in and through them.

I used to think that some successful or good outcome was at least partly because of me. Because of my prayer, or my preaching, or my sacrifice, so-and-so was saved. Or because of my serving, the church is standing. Or because I am obedient, my parents love me, because I am funny and charming my friends like me or because I am lovely and smart my husband accepts me. When my parents or Joshua point out that’s not the case, it hurts my pride. I don’t want to be loved if I am not loved for my merits. And my merits. I don’t want no pity love. But I’m realizing the fact is just that – in my sinful nature, I don’t have merit. I am totally unworthy to be loved and yet I am. That’s the love of the Son of God who gave himself for me. It’s so big and it makes so little sense that the only response is to accept it, not try to own up to it.

Everything is by God’s sovereign grace and nothing is because we “did well” or “deserve it”. So, if you have been blessed to hear the gospel and believe, it is only by his grace. If you have been blessed to be used by God to save another, it is only by his grace. If you have been blessed with good health, a family, a job, an education, it is only by his grace. If you have opportunity to pray, preach, sacrifice, and serve others, that is also by his grace. If you are suffering through health, relational, or financial issues, even that is by his grace. I say that with fear of God because, heck, what do I know about your suffering? The point is, it’s not about us, it’s about God. By his grace, in all things, he is working to crucify us that we might gain a better resurrection in which Christ, in his perfect redeeming love, lives in us.