The topic of today’s meditation is Dani’s poop. It’s an amazing thing, how transparently it reveals her diet – little pieces of corn, tomatoes scattered about a patte-like consistency of potatoes, carrots, and banana. Somewhere in the mush, I’m sure, are the boiled eggs, cheese, and yogurt. My baby eats well, yes. But the epiphany is that whatever comes out of you is what goes in you. 

“A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” Luke 6: 45 

It’s stupid to expect that anything good could come out of a mind filled with celebrity gossip, lustful pictures from instagram, random Youtube videos, superficial talk with friends and coworkers. I was talking to my friend today and she hit the nail on the head about what I’ve been thinking – that we try to do the holy work of God but as a filthy vessel insensitive to sin. What Jesus wants is not religious works – what he wants is a renewed heart. He wants us to be with him before we do anything for him. When we remain in him, we can bear his fruits. 

To be honest, I’ve been neglecting quality time with the Lord. I’m tired, I’m overwhelmed, I feel beat. I have been feeding on the crap of this world. So crap comes out. Recently, I’ve been so consumed with self-centred thoughts that I wrongly perceived others, even my closest friends. I was quick to assume that they were neglecting their friendship with me. Not worth getting into the details but it sounds petty, and it was. One thing I learned is that your negative perceptions of others are usually wrong. Each person is going through an iceberg worth of struggles that you don’t see. (That was supposed to be a post in itself, but I’m not sure how to form it into one so I’ll drop the thoughtbite here for now). All this to say –  I need to stop eating the junk of my own thoughts and the messages of this world because really, nothing good is coming out of it. It drains me spiritually and makes me a burden to others. 

It’s simple – I want to and have to eat of Jesus. So that Jesus can come out of me. Lord knows that is the deepest and truest desire of my heart. I want to know Christ, I want to be like Christ, so that I can make Christ known and so that his Kingdom might come. I am only one tiny little person but I believe that in God’s plan, one person in Christ can have a big output (heh heh), can make an impact for his kingdom. I have no strategy but as my mom always said – “Eat your veggies, exercise, and the poop will come.” If Jesus is my veggie and obedience is my exercise, eventually the poop (fruit) will show for it.